I won’t be doing that. We both know that an apparently impressive story can be created from a list of dead actions and old accomplishments.

Every Single Conversation

After years of coaching — regardless of title, income, achievement, or where a man finds himself in life — every single conversation with every single person I’ve coached boils down to:

“What do I want?” And: “Who do I have to be to do something with what I know?”

You see, clarity is a dangerous thing. If you know what you want, you have two choices. First, you can choose to become more of who you are at your best — developing qualities to become more disciplined, gentle, focused, thoughtful … where you’ll more easily do what it takes to create what you want. The other choice is a self-deception and self-denial any of us can fall into, where we ignore clarity or deny its importance. One sets us on a road where the journey itself (though challenging) is fulfilling and meaningful as we create what we want; the other perpetuates our suffering and damns us to more — because we’ve denied the source of our “salvation” — our power to choose in this moment.

Can you relate? I can.

Even the man who’s built an incredible life can go dormant. The man keeps moving, the calendar stays full, but something underneath has stopped being expressed. The authentic, uncompromised man slumbers.

Some men come to this work from the height of apparent success. Some come to rebuild from the ground up. The circumstances differ. The questions don’t.

Not rescue — remembering.

It’s never been a concern on my end. The question always, ultimately, lies with you. Are you ready to be in a real conversation — the kind where someone cares too much to leave you the way you are so you can become the man you know yourself to be and live the life you want?

What I do isn’t rescue. It’s remembering — helping a man find his way back to what he already is — so he can live from that fully — whether the reflection of his growth leads him to building a multi-national company or finding peace and love within for the first time.

My life’s work is helping men know, respect and live out who they are at their best.

I’m ready when you are.

On the journey…

First, I’m on the journey with you. From self-reflection to growing my skills, from consciously developing certain qualities to trying new things, I’ll never retire nor stop learning and growing.

I’m a believer in the old adage that if you’re not growing, you’re dying. I surround myself with excellent people who spend their lives growing, expanding, trying (failing and succeeding) but always learning — always adding to their quality. This is living.

I’ve been at this most of my life. Long before I had a name for it, I’d practice “helping” individuals with what I’d learned. From my little living room in Niskayuna, NY, I gave speeches to nobody, practicing for something I couldn’t yet identify.

A few honest conversations further defined what it was: my brother, who had the courage to tell me a hard truth about myself when I most needed it; my Uncle Mike, who helped me redefine success and what was possible — and then the last straw, a woman who stopped me after a speech one night and said: “You’re like a coach.”

It’s been 30 years.

If you’re ready for that conversation, I am too.