How
How can one love, when his beloved is gone?
Not gone in her flesh but done and moved on.
She left in the day
He was unable to see
She left in her way
He was left on his knees
How can one breathe when love left him alone?
Believing that freedom would bring her back home…
He never knew stillness
She never knew herself
He couldn’t receive
She couldn’t ask—help
How can he think when nothing makes sense?
And emotions flood in—and over again?
Mercifully, night comes
And torment subsides
Until waking and anguish
Together, arrive.
How can he forgive when forgiveness demands?
And convulsions of blame soil only his hands.
It can’t all be him but today there’s no other.
Tomorrow reveals, she won’t be recovered.
How? I love her.
I look to her but she feigns not to see.
Her smile grips my throat—a message for me.
Secession, ascension…elation
My fear, my only ambassador, exposes my strain.
Dismissed, convicted…dying
Death seems better…
Unceasingly living with your absence
Alone, I witness our distant plans betrayed—and unlived memories murdered.
—no one to appeal to.
No justice.
How I want you…
How I want you to see me.
At once you are my savior and demon.
I need you to see your sin and perfection.
But it’s all me. Incessant affliction!
How …?
-Ron Renaud
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